Someday, somehow, somewhere…
“Someday, someone is gonna think I’m the best guy ever.” That’s the thought I keep repeating to myself over and over in my head. Of course, I’ll have to prove it to her. But I’m sure that won’t be hard. If there’s one thing I love…it’s love. Heh, even though it always seems I am fighting a losing battle with it. Those are ther best battles! They build character and chicks dig scars, y’know? They love to ask where you got em! Even emotional scars! ”Where’d you get this one from?” “Oh, that? That came from this chick who ripped out my heart, set it on fire, put it back in my chest, then stomped it out.”
Not so suddenly, I think I have figured out one of my fatal flaws. Well really I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. The thing is, I always cling to the idea that I can fix things or that things aren’t over. What I’ve learned is that turning back the hands of fate is not one of my skill sets. I guess fighting fate is like trying to stop time from moving. It’s just not possible. However, it is a sweet, and romantic idea, isn’t it? There is always the one that got away, the one you screwed up, or the one you just didn’t try hard enough to get. I don’t make a habit of living with regrets, but I do make a habit of wishing things could be different. This all ties into my biggest vice–having a thing for women who don’t feel the same way about me. I don’t know what it is. I would hate to admit there could be some truth in the age old “We always want what we can’t have,” thing. So…I don’t. It’s not that I want what I can’t have. I…I just want what I want. The heart wants what it wants. What can anyone really say about the ones we let slip by? I guess Rick Blaine in Casablanca said it best. “We’ll always have paris.” Who knew a 68 year old movie would have such timeless insight!
In the end, I’m not worried. Great love, great times, great stories and even greater memories are headed my way. Till then…it’s an up and down rollercoaster of romantic disappointment and disillusionment. The ride is worthwhile though. I guess I’m just at the lull where nothing is really happening. Once I get to the top, however, it’ll be along exciting fall and the word “love” will never be the same.
First like the new layout. It’s slick.
I personally don’t believe in fate/destiny, almost not sure what
I do believe at this point. What I do know that life just follows
along with all of our random choices and the thoughts/motives we
put behind and into those same thoughts. To be honest I’m so tired
right now I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. Keep up the
good fight for what you really want in life.
You want what you want and there is nothing wrong with that. So many of us settle for something different than what we want and end up feeling empty. And there are woman that see you as the best catch ever, or at least one woman has….But you like what you like, and I hope you find what you like and she sees you in the same light as I have.
Don’t be discouraged, Donny Dearest
If you want a woman to see you as the best guy ever you have to first accept that description yourself. Self-worth is a reflection of your mind, character, soul etc. which are all incredibly beautiful. No one, especially some vapid woman could ever define you. You’re as great as they come.